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08/07/05 - The End
Hey, been a while. Well after not updating the site and letting it stay in mostly unusable form I've decided that it's not coming back. Except what was is coming back. It's just there won't be any more of it. Capiche?

Clarity of expression was always my strong suit. Anyway, basically I'm putting most of the content back online in the old static HTML format because the PHP-nuke kept getting hacked. Some of the advanced features like polls and comments are going to be lost. Sorry. But this is probably the last time I'm going to do anything with this website. I'm not planning to update it anymore.

I started this site because of what most people would call a crush. I'd rather think of it as falling in love with an idea. The idea that a woman on TV can be smart and beautiful without posing in skimpy outfits for magazines that are clearly more interested in cleavage than quality writing. I guess that idea's fallen by the wayside. And the network for which Morgan now works, well I'll just say it doesn't produce a lot of content that I want to watch.

I've enjoyed running this site. I've learned some things, had some fun but it's at an end. But since it costs so little to keep it up, and because I still think there's some value to it's content I'm going to leave as much as possible available on the internet. I can't guarantee it'll last forever so if there's anything you'd like to hold on to, I suggest downloading it and storing it yourself.

Goodbye. Good luck. Have fun.

-Space Monkey.

06/09/04 - Alright, fine.
Morgan'sHair.Net got "HACKID BY FIRE HACKER iran-ahwaz:::wWw.FiRe-hAcKeR.tk:::" Pardon my language, but conrgatu-f'ing-lations

The PHP-Nuke portion of my site has been hacked three times in the last six weeks. I had to take it offline. Unfortunately that means that almost all the content is temporarily available until such time as I find a more secure content management service or just convert it all to static html. This will probably take a while.

Yes, this sucks. That's life on the information superhighway.

05/20/04 - Whatever
I got hacked again. It happens, a lot. Too much. I'm no security expert, I think it's something with the PHP-nuke software. If you know what patch I can use to avoid allowing hackers administrator access to the PHP-nuke control system, please tell me. I checked their website and I can't seem to find anything.

And quite frankly I just don't care that much anymore. If the site gets hacked again I'm just going to dump PHP-nuke and probably most of the content in it. Yes, this sucks. But it's a lot easier to destroy than it is to create, that's the way it's always been and modern technology has increased that to an unfortunate degree. It's a problem much bigger than this small example. That a small group, or just one person, can destroy so much - not just this dumb web page but stolen credit card numbers, identity theft, some of the worlds largest buildings, human lives and our fragile sense of security.

Because of twenty-some angry men the U.S. government is spending billions to tighten airport security. I don't have the resources to fight constant hacking attempts, nor is anything here so valuable as to be defended that way. So if there's something here that you would like to keep, I suggest you back it up yourself. I might just shut everything down.

05/07/04 - A little news.
In case you didn't know TechTV (the employer of this site's namesake and it's attendant body) has been purchased by Comcast. Comcast is merging TechTV with it's G4 network and keeping it based in Los Angeles rather than TechTV's current San Francisco base. Yesterday they issued 60-day termination notices to all existing TechTV employees. Some will be rehired if they choose to move to LA. For more information read this article from Wired or the thread from the Leoville Town Square.

04/27/04 - Yeah, I got hacked, again.
Big ups to ToXiC and muffY plus the whole Unconscious Awake Crew for taking over my site. You proved for all the world to see that you are smarter than me. But guess what, that's no big accomplishment. I'm an idiot.

As evidenced by this site you may conclude that I do not have the best judgment as to how to use my time. However it seems as though people who would deface a website so useless have even worse judgment. There wasn't even a message to the mischief. No Libertarian war cry. No anti-consumerist wake up call. Just, "You've got hack."

I set everything back to normal now except that the "posted by" message is wrong for old stories. I'm not sure how to fix it but I'll probably figure that out in a few days and if not I really don't care that much.

And whoever keeps sending me viruses, stop. It's not going to work. I don't open executable attachments without a better ruse than what you've tried already. Although that latest round appearing to be from romantically interested girls was a bit more interesting. And if some of these are coming from infected people, take me off your contacts list. It's easy to remember my address.

04/01/04 - Announcement
SamClemens writes: "I have an announcement to make. I suspect that this announcement will displease many of you in some (hopefully) small way. However, the truth must be told regardless of its effect. Morgan has found her perfect man and he is I.

"It started about a year ago with Morgan's eyes. Those big, beautiful, brown eyes that transmutate boring brown into the most exotic color known to man. Like lead into gold, brown ceases to be the color of dirt and feces and bark. When I look into her eyes, brown becomes the color of intelligence and honesty and kindness.

"Of course our connection goes beyond the physical. Even the deepest dye job cannot hold two people together. It's the little things that hold us together like tiny peninsulas on a jigsaw puzzle. People are always asking me if I'm Canadian (a side effect of the last polite American having died in 1973), I am not Canadian but Morgan is.

"Morgan has a Bachelor's Degree in Rhetoric with a minor in Italian. I have a Degree in Italian with a minor in Rhetoric. Thusly she is uniquely qualified to notify me when I'm full of shit in both my personal and professional lives.

"Most importantly her words have a powerful resonance in my heart. From the trivial and absurd to the profound and pragmatic they tread on my soul like the hands of a skilled masseuse, releasing laughter and understanding from my deepest recesses. I don't always agree with her but I can always see her point.

"We are not exactly a perfect match. I am two years younger than her, which although not outside a reasonable range, does fly against the standard order of the man being somewhat older. However I like to think of it as maximizing our time together, since men tend to have shorter lifespans. And to be honest, while certain individuals find Morgan's propensity for changing her hair color to be highly enchanting, I feel that it smells of overmuch vanity. But these are minor quibbles compared to her incredible qualities for she is the best girl in all the world.

"Tragically, I have thus far been unable to make Morgan aware of our deep connection. My emails receive no reply and I am left with only he image projected in my mind to keep me company. Sometimes in the deep night the simple though of her lying beside me alternately comforts and tortures me beyond my capacity to relate. I hope that by announcing this publicly that she will contact me and we can fulfill the happy future that I foresee for us. So Morgan, please email me, SamClemens_the_American@hotmail.com. I look forward to hearing from you."

Note: Please note that the views and opinions related here are not necessarily those of Morgan'sHair.Net, Morgan Webb, Space Monkey, TechTV, or anyone else. Of course, if there were anything truly offensive or bizarre we'd never let it be in any way associated with us. But in case our censors missed something this will cover our butts

03/02/04 - Oh yeah, that old thing
For those of you who don't know, two weeks ago Morgan was featured on a Playboy.Com poll for "Sexiest Babe on TechTV." The winner was to be given the opportunity to pose nude for Playboy.Com. She won "by a pixel" but all five women (Cat, Sarah, Laura and Kim) have been offered the chance to pose.

I must confess to deliberately keeping this subject from this site until now because I didn't want Morgan to win. Actually, I mostly don't want her to pose but I didn't even want her to be in any way associated with Playboy. I felt that any mention of this poll would probably drive more voters to Morgan. Looking back at my logs, the poll probably led more people here than I could have to it.

The main reason I oppose this is one of perception. By running this site, by being a Morgan Webb fan, the perception of Morgan rubs off on me in some way. I have no desire to run a fansite for a Playboy Playmate because, I think, people have a tendency to assume that if someone promotes themselves as 'sexy,' then they have nothing else to offer. Call it the Britney Spears effect. This isn't always true; it certainly isn't fair, and is just a stereotype. However, this is most people's first impression and that will stick in lieu of evidence to the contrary.

To be honest, I doubt that many people would see something to change their minds on X-Play. All she appears to do is read a teleprompter and look hot. Whatever writing or production work she does is a mystery and few articles on the X-Play website, particularly in the past two months, bear her byline. I think she does a lot of off-camera work for the show, but I couldn't refute anyone who thought she just showed up and read someone else's copy.

I simply do not see many of the qualities she displayed on the Screen Savers. Her off-the-cuff wit, deep tech knowledge, and a quality which I cannot describe except for the horribly, horrendously, inadequate adjective of 'nice.' These were the qualities that made me start this site, not her hair. Morgan is a beautiful person, not just a hot body. I fear that exposing that body would blind people to that wonderful reality.

That's my opinion, right or wrong. If you care enough to think about this, go ahead and post a comment here. Or send an email to me or to Morgan, whomever it is you want to convince. I'd love to see intelligent thought and debate. Remember that free expression is allowed but obscenity is not. Since this is my site, paid for with my money, I get to judge what is obscene.

02/22/04 - Morgan in FHM 50 most eligle women in the world
jupiterssj4 writes: "Morgan Webb is number 39 of the World's Most Eligible Women from the March issue of FHM. Check her out in the magazine pics here:

Morgan 1
Morgan 2
Morgan 3"

Note: Please note that the views and opinions related here are not necessarily those of Morgan'sHair.Net, Morgan Webb, Space Monkey, TechTV, or anyone else. Of course, if there were anything truly offensive or bizarre we'd never let it be in any way associated with us. But in case our censors missed something this will cover our butts.

02/02/04 - Hair clips and clippings
The big news in Morgan land this week is her new moblog. For those of you who don't know what a moblog is you could either click on the link or read my awkward and overlong description of it... Actually, the second option has just been replaced by "scratch yourself and ponder the addition of 'mo' to the word 'blog.'" Enjoy.

In other hair news a new study has suggested a link between hair dye and cancer.

Long-term use of permanent hair dye -- in dark colors -- doubles a person's risk of certain blood cancers, new research shows.

We're all concerned for Morgan. But what has concerned me more recently is what to call Morgan. In recent weeks she's been signing her X-Play X-Pansion intros just simply with 'Mo'. Is this how we should address her in the future? Mo??? How does the pronunciation of 'Mo' differ from 'Moe'? So I've finally changed the poll to "What do you call the superlative one?"

01/12/04 - What's new in the write-wing
Sorry, I guess that formula didn't quite work out. And sorry about that pun, it was bad, even for puns. Blogging may be a lost art but the email newsletter has been rediscovered. Once a week she sends out her introduction to the X-Play Xpansion Pack.

To prevent these gems of wit from disappearing into the infinite electronic ether I've archived them in the writings section. Morgan has also started to write game reviews which are linked to there.

12/08/03 - Three week warning
I just wanted to give you a notice as to when Morgan will next update her blog. It will be three weeks from now on December 29, 2003. How do I know this? Simple regression. I put in the dates of her previous entries and graphed them I obtained this result:



Using third degree polynomial regression I obtained the equation shown there, y = 0.1271x^3 - 2.8105x^2 + 22.74x + 37637 where x is the entries number and y is the number of days since January 1, 1900. If you put in two for x then you get 37672.25 which translates to February 20, 2003. Morgan's second entry "Being Sick Blows" is indeed dated February 20, 2003. It's not always this accurate of course, but it works fairly well. The R-squared value is 0.9877 where 1.000 indicates a perfect correlation.

Extrapolating this out we can predict her next entry to be on December 29, 2003. Of course we can't determine the specific topic of her prodigious prose but at least we won't have to check back day after day waiting torturously for a word from Morgan. Sadly the equation reveals a trend of less and less entries over a given period of time. Only four entries are expected for the new year and extrapolating further only a single entry will appear in the year 2010. While some may consider this effort wasteful or worthless, they haven't seen some of the other ways I can waste fifteen minutes with an office suite.

Read on for the full predictions and the actuality.

11/14/03 - Other perspectives.
It's always good to see things from a different point of view. That's why you've got two eyes. So we can get a more complete view of the world that surrounds us.

Two people sent in their photos from Morgan's appearance in Worchester last month. They are...

[removed at his request]:




and "Groorg":


11/07/03 - hot or ugly?
misterisz writes "As Morgan Webb's popularity continues to grow, slowly consuming the entire population of the planet earth, an ongoing debate has arisen about whether Morgan is "hot" or "ugly"; either fascinating and inspiring side of the issue being equally contrived and pointless. X-Play has certainly garnered Morgan some well-deserved praise and notoriety, but the backlash has also spawned the usual amount of detractors. The "Morgan is hot" and "Morgan is ugly" debates have begun to rapidly spread throughout the internet like angry, cancerous parasites with explosive diarrhea, and a definite answer to the enigma "Is Morgan hot or ugly?" has yet to be discovered. Any frequent visitors of the X-Play message boards or Morgan's weblog are well aware of the obvious and vital need to find this answer. It has become beyond clear that Morgan's ability to stand in front of a television camera in a fixed position talking about video games depends on it. Her ability to open her eyes each day and continue breathing in air depends on it. The very sanctity and fate of the human race depends on it.

"On one side of the issue, Morgan is thoroughly and intricately described as what scientists now recognize as "hot". Be assured, detail is not given a moment to rest in this instance, and all one can do is slowly nod one's head back and forth in agreement, periodically dabbing at the bit of drool on one's chin with a cloth napkin. Morgan's capacity for being "hot" far exceeds the notion of logic or reason as described by many well-adjusted computer savvy individuals with no parental supervision. As Morgan looks deeply into the eyes of transfixed viewers, it becomes clear that the glory of her physical existence was meant for you and you alone. Don't be afraid of what you see. Let her know how you feel. Shout it from the very rooftop of your trailer home?. "Morgan is HOT!" The echo of brilliance left by such an astute statement resonates throughout the very core of one's soul. Without constant and proper acknowledgement of such a seemingly unknown fact, how would anyone on earth realize "Morgan is hot"? How would Morgan herself realize she is "hot"? And where else would Morgan get her sense of identity and self worth? -- The answer seems obvious: NO WHERE.

"Yet on the other side of this life altering and highly controversial debate is the recent discovery that "Morgan is ugly". This bold and original observation has come bursting forth from the underbelly of our culture like a recently unclogged toilet in Grand Central Station. Supporting the "Morgan is ugly" idea are several gentle and touching theories about Morgan's general physical appearance. Painstaking and crucial research has been performed on the subject and a few things have recently come to light, including, "Morgan has man shoulders", "Morgan has fake boobs" and "Morgan was once an albino circus midget named Habeeb". As startling and factually correct as these findings must be, they have yet to be substantiated by anyone in this known universe. Imagine if you can: The mature, brilliant minds behind these observations berating the keyboard with their original and provocative statements, realizing a secret thrill only paralleled by collecting Pokémon cards. The spellchecker goes into overdrive and begins to burn, rewriting the English language into misspelled, grammatically incorrect run on sentences centering on the notion that "morgin isa are stupd adn ugley." Much like chimps in a cage hurling feces at one another, the truth is thrown at us like a smelly pile of monkey crap.

"And when all is said and done, the question still remains - Morgan Webb: hot or ugly? Both sides of the debate are so meticulously planned out and cultivated over minutes and minutes of surface level thought that one is seemingly at a loss for an answer. We strive to internalize the question, reflecting and waiting. Hot or ugly? Ugly or hot? Somehow, the answer finally comes forth, effortlessly rolling forward into our brains as if spoken by Morgan herself: Shut the f*$% up."

Note: Please note that the views and opinions related here are not necessarily those of Morgan'sHair.Net, Morgan Webb, Space Monkey, TechTV, or anyone else. Of course, if there were anything truly offensive or innovative we'd never let it be in any way associated with us. But in case our censors missed something this will cover our butts.

10/26/03 - an extra hour
Like most of you I had an extra hour to kill this weekend. Anyone who knows me knows that I schedule each and every second of every day. With this additional hour I couldn't just use my typical weekend schedule of knitting and programming. I thought to myself, Wouldn't it be nice if I could spend some time with Morgan. And amazingly I could.

And all it required was a 880-mile round trip (Northern Virginia to Worcester, Massachusetts) and an hour waiting in line. No problem. Hey, if Morgan flies three thousand miles to see her fans why shouldn't I meet her when there is less than a sixth of that distance remaining.

So I went. Here are some snapshots from the event:

(click for large version)



Yes, that's me in the last image. Yes, I was trying to look as stupid as possible. And yes, I succeeded. Feel free to criticize my hair if you want but I reserve the right to reply with random nursery rhymes a la Tobias Beecher.

Take the poll on the right and answer that burning question of whose hair was the worst. If you have something to contribute about her public appearance don't hold back on us. Comments are available and if you have a picture, email me.

10/18/03 - Beg, Sl Tog, Inc, Cont, Rep
The writings section has been updated and reorganized. I've added a bunch of links to articles Morgan has written for TechTV.com. These should help you expand your mind on such topics as Canada, Gun Control, Violent Games, and Knitting. Sounds like Morgan's response to "Bowling for Columbine" except for the knitting. Or maybe she's discovered the ideal solution to violence in America and will soon begin distributing knitting needles to inner-city youths and convicts.

The first stop on her tour, "Knitting for Nonviolence", will be in Worcester, Massachusetts on October 25-26. Take a stand against violence and go say hi to Morgan. I'll be there acting as one of Morgan's bouncers. We're all for nonviolence but some people just need a good body slam. If I have to be the one to do it then it makes me feel like a big man, and I like that.

09/25/03 - You asked for it.
Due to popular demand I have indeed updated the images section. However I've been unbelievably lazy as of late so I'm doing the most basic upload possible and let apache do the rest. The resultant listing is here. It's a decent display of information and if you use Opera like any reasonable person would it can be instantly transformed into an easy slideshow of Morganosity.

I will however point out a few notable trends and exceptions. The first and most obvious trend is that since this is the first update since February there are many, many, many instances that show a vast dichotomy in the quality of hair between hosts of a certain show about video games. Sometimes it was such that they felt it necessary to hide the superior hair specimen.

There a few notable instances documented within this upload. One of these is what I believe to be Morgan's very first appearance on The Screen Savers. Doesn't that make you all nostalgic? Maybe not. How about Morgan's last appearance as a Screen Saver. I can hear the weeping now. Or maybe it's just my allergies acting up.

"Say hello to everything you've left behind, it's even more a part of your life now that you can't touch it."

08/31/03 - Who am I?
Judging by my emails there seems to be some confusion about who I am. Some of you seem to think that I am Morgan. While this is ridiculously untrue and seemingly obvious to me, most of you don't have the dubious privilege of gazing upon my countenance in the mirror daily. Trust me, the resemblance between myself and Morgan is less than remarkable.

I still do not understand the cause of the confusion since Morgan does not refer to herself in the third person. Nor is she nearly so interested in her hair as I am. Perhaps the confusion arises from my Sisyphean attempt at emulating Morgan's writing style. How this imitation came to be convincing I do not know. I think it's superficial at best since I haven't a degree in Rhetoric and am still toiling towards a BS in computer science. I am however taking a course in Classical Mythology (hence the Sisyphus reference) and displayed a touch of Hyperlexia as a child.

If you'd like to compare and contrast our writing styles, I've recently updated the writings section with new email notes. And please, don't send me emails assuming that I'm Morgan. It makes me feel a little dirty, like I'm reading Morgan's mail. Another thing, there might be someone spoofing emails that appear to come from me. If you get something that seems odd let me know and I'll tell you if it's just me being weird or someone playing tricks. And if someone really is doing this, stop. Email spoofing is the lowest form of hacking. Yes, even lower than DOS attacks.

08/24/03 - Hello all you people.
As I type this there are 100 registered users of Morgan's Hair.Net. Hi.

I'll remind you all that anyone with an account can post stories just like me. Of course I get final say about everything since I am founder, owner, head programmer, lead web designer, editor-in-chief, top writer, and backup nose guard of Morgan's Hair.Net. Aren't I special?

While I might appear industrious, it's only because I am also primary hat-maker, which is a peculiar occupation for a site about hair. In actuality I am rather lazy and would find it far easier to just click 'ok' than write a brilliant piece of exposition showing the concurrences between Morgan and the heroines of classic Greek tragedies. So help me out, because we're all in the hair together.

08/05/03 - Morgan with purple hair!!!
Tune in this Wednesday for a very special X-Play to see Morgan with purple hair. How did this happen? This can be best explained via this crude graphic:



I think that sums everything up nicely. See the outtakes here.

In more pet-related news Morgan's tarantula, Cruella, has ridden Morgan's coattails into stardom in her own right. She (the spider) now has her own spycam just like Adam. Oddly enough, even though Morgan's last name is Webb she chooses a spider that does not actually spin webs - at least in the conventional sense. And didn't Cruella used to be Zoe? I didn't know spiders could take stage names.

08/01/03 - RIP Pixel



...Alas, poor Pixel!--I knew him,
Morgan; a fellow of infinite jest, of most excellent fancy: he
hath borne me on his back a thousand times; and now, how abhorred
in my imagination it is! my gorge rises at it. Here hung those
lips that I have kiss'd I know not how oft. Where be your gibes
now? your gambols? your songs? your flashes of merriment, that
were wont to set the table on a roar? Not one now, to mock your
own grinning? quite chap-fallen?*

Well, actually I never knew him and certainly never kissed him. But I don't think I'll ever forget his last words, "Flush!" Such wit and wisdom, even at the end... He (or she, we never really looked) will be missed.

*Adapted from Shakespeare's Hamlet.

**Morgan's blog entry on the subject**

07/12/03 - Whaaa?!?!?!
So I hear that I was on The Screen Savers last night. Hello all you people, welcome to the wonderful world of Morgan's Hair. It actually wasn't too bad that I got hacked. The damage was very limited and that article really needed some editing. Maybe not that much editing but...

I didn't even say the most important thing before which was that the writings section had been expanded with new email notes from the newsletters. Morgan writes well, too bad she doesn't blog more often.

I've also written up some personal recommendations of stuff you should buy from Amazon so I get a commission. From here on out it will be carefully hidden away and won't bother you anymore. But go check it out, you can't fault my logic: "I like Morgan. You like Morgan. I like this stuff. Therefore you like this stuff too. So buy it!"

So until the next time I get hacked, See you Space Cowboy

07/10/03 - 'Doh
Well, I've been hacked. Somebody got access to the news portion (or more) of MHN and overwrote the last story. The story created an automatic redirect to http://www.securitymind.net/ which was suspiciously registered only yesterday. He also had some insulting remarks for the "admin" (I wonder who that could be?).

There were several known holes in the version of PHP-Nuke I was using and I had not applied the patches before this happened. They are applied now. I fixed this at about 8:30am eastern time but I don't know how long this had been going on before then.

I'm not sure how badly I've been compromised but I'll get through this. I think this was only a minor problem. I'll try to get more information as soon as possible. If you notice anything else weird please email me immediately, spacemonkey@morganshair.net.

06/03/03 - I was right
See, I told ya. But let's not bask in the glory of my prognostication and instead bask in the glory of Morgan's new hair. It's a little hard to bask in the glory of hair when it's this dark but it is well worth the effort.

So now that we've seen the new hair we need a proper name for the color. This is where you come in. In the comments section post an idea for a color. What I'm looking for is one to three adjectives (and possibly an adverb) in a specific order that describes the wonder and majesty of the new hue; something with pizzazz. Here are a few captures from last night's show (courtesy tzankoff) to help you in your epic task:






Since you've read this far I'll show you something I stumbled across while examining my referrer logs. Someone, I don't know who, linked to us and this interesting reference on that most curious of mammalian features- hair. Specifically human hair. Of particular interest was the section on coloring hair.

05/28/03 - here we go again
Well, Morgan's done it again; her hair has undergone another radical transformation. This time it's a rather dark brown and on the short side of Morgan's usual range or hair lengths. Since X-Play is taped we haven't seen it under proper lighting conditions (although we did see Morgan in a gorgeous red dress last night). It's possible that Morgan's new hair will debut tonight but I think next week is most likely; it depends on their production schedules.

These spycam captures are from Thursday:






04/28/03 - X-Play debut
I'd like to start (and I will start) by apologizing for saying that X-Play would debut at 4pm. This has taught me a lesson; always site your sources. That lets you pass the blame when it's wrong. In this case I'm passing the blame to TechTV's web site, which still displayed this schedule on Monday. Nonetheless X-Play did debut at its normal debut time, 11:30pm. Call me biased (it would be a pleasant change of pace) but I liked it. The set looked cool, the graphics were slick, Morgan looked great, Adam... well who looks at Adam anyway? The overall look of the show was very good. One pet peeve of mine is the cruddy black and white secondary shot. I just don't see the point - ooh it looks like crap. Big whoop. I like the more humorous take on things. I'm not sure about the dialogue with the disembodied voice, hopefully it'll become more between Morgan & Adam. The writing was rather clever and sharp. I particularly liked the line about game storylines, "How about unbreakable magic crap for once." Too be perfectly honest Morgan seemed a little too meek, at least compared to Adam. But I'm sure that with time she'll grow more accustomed to the new atmosphere and assert herself more. Remember her first time on TSS? Adam was his normal hyperactive self, which fits the show well. Their chemistry seemed slightly off but in time it'll work out. Adam sets himself up for some great insults that Morgan could deliver perfectly. I confess that I wasn't thrilled at the of Morgan idea leaving TSS for X-Play. I do play games but I have very bad taste in games. So a show based largely around game reviews didn't really tickle my fancy. But those devious minds in TechTV's upper offices found my weakness and here I am. All in all we (I) give it a 4, out of 5. What do you think, take the poll on the front page or leave a comment.

04/25/03 - Believe the hype!
The Morgan embargo will be lifted soon. X-Play debuts Monday at 4 pm and repeats at 11:30 and then at 2:30am, and 4:00pm the following day. Future episodes will debut at 11:30. All times are Eastern to me. I haven't seen anything about it but I'd expect Morgan and/or Adam to show up on Call for Help, the Screen Savers, and/or TechLive to promote their new show. I've been rather active lately posting new stories; don't expect that to last. After X-Play debuts I'll quiet down until I finish my finals and/or they finish me. After that I'll try to write my own database based image gallery system, FotoFollicle. It should be a good way to learn php and/or practice self-flagellation. And yes, I am in a overly inclusive and/or non-committal mood. Why do you ask and/or inquire? And if you'd like to contribute something during my sabbatical just register and click on "Submit a Story." Somebody has to do it.

04/24/03 - No such thing.
In the entertainment business they say that there's no such thing as bad publicity. That seems to be true in Morgan's case as she was way at the top of Yahoo's buzz index with searches for Morgan Webb increasing 2400 percent. TechLive ran a story on Morgan and the buzz around her today that will repeat again tonight at 11pm and then tomorrow at 10am, 2pm, and 6pm (all times Eastern). It might also make the weekend edition. Check it out because I have a saying of my own, "There's no such thing as bad Morgan." And for those of you who are curious as to who Morgan is, I answered that question in great detail here when the site launched. It's a little outdated but I think the summation still holds up, "Morgan Webb is the little warm center that the life of the world crowds around.

04/24/03 - Awww-inspiring
I normally wouldn't post a new picture here but since I haven't added anything new in a while and this one was just so adorable...



Large (1600x1200) version.

04/23/03 - I Missed out on Morgan
I got an email from Matt Mitchell of the band The Gogs they're expressing their devotion to Morgan in their first video, "Missed out on Morgan." It's actually good. Rock on dudes! See the lyrics:

Outta Toronto she came to us
Took my heart to San Francisco
Frantically waiting for Windows Tips
That's my favorite even Zoe's got to know

And I missed out on Morgan
With my Midwestern way
But that's alright I'll be there
In California someday

Outta commercial its Martin
Why's he always got to take her screentime?
Deliberately leaving us wanton
Of everything we ever wanted to see

And I missed out on Morgan
With my Midwestern way
But that's alright I'll be there
In California someday

We like Patrick, we like Megan, Leo's even pretty cool
But they don't seem to compare
Morgan is the one we follow she will never let us down
With rapidly evolving hair


"Big Mac, Filet o' Fish, Quarter Pounder, French Fries
Icy Coke, thick Shakes, Sundaes and Apple Pies
Big Mac, Filet o' Fish, Quarter Pounder, French Fries
Icy Coke, thick Shakes, Sundaes and Apple Pies"

And I missed out on Morgan
With my Midwestern way
But that's alright I'll be there
In California someday

04/21/03 - There is no cure, but there is treatment
Have you had difficulty concentrating in the past few weeks? Have you been bothered by feelings of anger, frustration, restlessness, and general irritability? Have you had difficulty falling asleep or difficulty sleeping through the night? Have you experienced a craving for women who can hack the registry and knit?

If you answered yes to one or more of those questions you may be suffering from Morgan withdrawal, a serious condition affecting thousands. Morgan's Hair.Net is conducting an investigational research study evaluating this condition. To participate, simply follow these suggestions and report back on the development of your symptoms.

There are several ways to obtain the dosage of Morgan that you may have become accustomed to without resorting to stalking or defacing websites. You could simply visit our extensive image archive and browse through hundreds of pictures. If you need Morgan in motion picture form try the video archive and wait for buffering to complete.

If you need something more current you could try to catch a glimpse of Morgan on some of TechTV's spycams. X-Play already has a bank of (mostly inactive) spycams in their game labs. You can also peek at Adam and Morgan while they tape upcoming episodes on Cat's Set Cam. They tape on the TechLive/Call for Help set Mondays and Wednesdays 7-11pm, Pacific. X-Play's web team has posted a slideshow of their new set with Morgan and Adam already hard at 'work'.

If all that fails perhaps you could try reading a good book. Or just a short story, like Amy Hemel's Beg, Sl Tog, Inc, Cont, Rep. Knitting! Maybe take in a good movie. There's lots of Anime out there.

04/19/04 - Morgan makes it to the big time.


Several news sources are reporting that Madonna.com was hacked earlier today. It was offering up free Madonna MP3s and a marrige proposal to one Morgan Webb. I don't know what to say, but I guess there's no such thing as bad publicity.

I hope Morgan says "no." Hopefully the hacker doesn't have a GeForce 4.

04/18/04 - Favorite Morgan Moments
To kick off the new site and it's community aspects I'd like to share some of my favorite memories of Morgan's time on The Screen Savers. Since that time has come to an end it's a good time to look back. I posted a long history of what she did when but this is for those little moments that stand out and make you smile. So here's mine:

This was something that only Morgan would ever dream of doing. She tried to teach Martin to knit. Her Site of the Nite was learntoknit.com. It was a hilarious segment. Martin apparently is more of a crochet man so the concept of straight needles was unnatural to him. Knitting is the new yoga, according to Morgan. Feeling a little ungeeky she also included a link to a lovely white paper entitled "Layer 2 Analysis of WLAN Discovery Applications." Classic Morgan.

Register and share your memories so we can all bask in the shadow of yesterday's triumph, and sail on the steel breeze.

04/18/03 - The new design
As I'm sure you've noticed there's been a few changes around here lately. I'm migrating to a PHP Nuke based system. It's not finished but I wanted to show it to you and start getting some actual usage. This is on a new hosting plan so it's going to take some time for the new DNS information to propagate so be patient. I've kept all the content that I haven't converted over to PHP Nuke so you can still access all those lovely pictures of Morgan. The only thing that will be lost in the conversion is the old poll results. I'll still have the old poll questions, but the results will get dropped in the switch. Thanks to Lou for the new header graphic. Everything isn't exactly the way I want it to be. I'll keep tweaking it but this is pretty close. Please register and make this a real community. I've posted guidelines for discussion [below].

04/18/03 - Community Guidelines
Now that you can all join and contribute to this site I have to set some guidelines. I'm enabling comments; don't abuse the privilege. To comment you must be a registered user. Registration is free and easy but I do require a valid email address to avoid trolls. I promise that I will never spam you, or share your information with anyone without your consent. There is an option when you register to receive a newsletter. If you set that to yes I will use that to send updates directly to your mailbox.

Regarding the actual content of your comments, I think you already know what is acceptable but I'll set some guidelines anyway. I reserve the right to remove anything at any time. Usage is entirely at my discretion. With that said, I will generally be quite lenient in my use of power. Excessive use of foul language will not be allowed, neither will any obscene discussions of Morgan's body. Any spiteful attacks upon Morgan or any other user will be looked upon unfavorably and may be removed. I will tolerate the content of almost any message if not it's wording. You could say that you hate Morgan. I might be forced to contact the mental health department so that you can get the help you need if that's the case but I won't remove the message.

About usernames, anything goes so long as it's not obscene or a deliberate attempt to misrepresent yourself as a TechTV personality. I've already registered morgan and morganwebb users. If you are Morgan, email me (from a @techtv address) and I'll be absolutely ecstatic to send you a password.

One of the good new features of PHP nuke is that users (you) can submit stories directly. I have the choice of publishing it, of course, but this makes it easy for people other than me to say something. So if you have an idea for how Morgan's hairstyles have been influenced by Anime, write it up, login, and just click on "Submit a story." It's a fairly straightforward process from there, copy and paste text into the Story text box. If it's long put everything after the first few paragraphs in the extended text box. Click preview to see how your story would look and modify based on that. It accepts html formatting. When you're done just click on "Ok!" and I'll look at it and determine if it merits posting. In almost every case I'll at least tell you what I think.

04/18/03 - A brief history of Morgan:
To the best of my recollection Morgan's first appearance on The Screen Savers came sometime in May of 2001. She was sitting in for Jessica Corbin in the old nook with Megan writing the show notes (I think.) She didn't have a segment to present so they didn't talk to her until the end of the show. You could only see her in some of the long shots and I remember thinking, "What in the world has Jessica done to her hair?" Little did I know...

Once Leo finally got around to talking to the nook dwellers they introduced Morgan Webb to the world. Megan commented that she "was building an army of smart women to take over the Screen Savers." Excellent recruitment Megan.

The first article Morgan posted to the Screen Savers website was, of course, this Windows Tip dated June 12, 2001 although I think that Pat or Leo presented it. The producers had not yet come to their senses about putting Morgan on camera. In July, I think, Morgan had her first on air planned segment. She presented a site of the nite with Leo. I don't recall the exact site but as part of it she entered in her birthday, October 5, 1978. The wheels in Leo's head spun as he tried to calculate her age. "You're 21?" The wheels could use a little extra grease at his age. "I'm 22." Leo's hair turned a little grayer.

Morgan began appearing regularly on the show when she took over for Joshua Brentano in the Netcam Cineplex. Back then this was in the Interact Area of the TechLive/Call for Help set. Cat Schwartz and Morgan answered the phones for TSS and Pat and Leo would have them tell the viewers how to get on the show. Call volume soared 327% with the threat of having to deal with the Dvorak-wannabe, Joshua, abated and the promise of conversing with Cat or Morgan leading people like the Star of David.

When TechTV launched TechTV Canada they called upon Morgan to elucidate to ignorant Americans about Canada. Why Morgan? Ostensibly it was because as a Canadian Morgan could best explain Canada's differences. But the real reason was to show that America steals all the best Canadians.

In September 2001 TechTV expanded the nook to incorporate the Netcam Cineplex and relocated it to far stage left. It was supposed to be the "babe corral" with Megan, Cat, Morgan, and Jessica all in a row. Unfortunately Jessica left the show to help care for her injured brother, Ryan, and Morgan passed on the title of "new guy/girl" to Kevin Rose. She was leaving the Netcam Cineplex to pursue a crash-free Windows system. She of course failed but she did find a unicorn and the fountain of youth.

Although Morgan thought she was free to pursue all things Windows Tippy, the powers that be had different ideas during April and May of 2002 Morgan was pulled back when Cat left to co-host Call for Help. So once again we all had Morgan's phone number. In the next year her role on the Screen Savers grew rapidly. In addition to answering the phones and producing and presenting three Windows tips a week she frequently filled in with a Site of the Nite, or Download of the Day, or even a Twisted List. She also filled in for Cat on Call for Help from time to time. Her growth culminated on November 18, 2002 when she co-hosted TSS with Megan on ladies night. She would go on to host twice again, once with Leo and once with Patrick.

The inspiration for this site came on October 24, 2002. Morgan debuted a new hair color. The platinum blonde was out; golden brown was in. Morgan claimed that she "fell into a big vat of dye." But we know better. Within a few weeks I had Morgan's Hair.Net under development and started promoting in on November 27. Some people ask me, why Morgan's Hair.Net? Why not Leo's Hair.Net or Patrick's Hair.Net. Well, I had plans for that but Leo's hair was a little too artificial for my taste. I was going to do Pat'sHair.Net but that was never going to last. Megan'sHair.Net got scrapped when the subject matter got too dark. Morgan was just the obvious choice.

One of her more interesting days at TechTV was December 26, 2002, a date which will live in infamy. It was the Call for Help-a-thon, 18 grueling hours of live TV. Morgan missed the first few hours while she flew back from Christmas with her family but she witnessed most of the fun first hand. It was our first chance to really see the friendship between Cat and Morgan, and it was fun to watch them gab about all sorts of things. Things really got interesting around hour 16 when Chris lost control, laughing hysterically until Morgan came to his rescue. It ended with Cat, Morgan, and Chris in pajamas dancing to DJ Roger's groovy royalty-free mix. Truly a day (and night) to remember.

Her time on the Screen Savers afforded Morgan sever travel opportunities. Morgan and Cat represented TechTV at CES 2003 in Las Vegas and covered the show floor for TSS. A few weeks later they teamed up to tackle the Super Bowl. I can't believe I wrote that sentence. In February and March frequently traveled to Los Angeles for the always controversial Bit Chats.

On April 4, 2003 Morgan announced that she would be leaving the Screen Savers to co-host X-Play with Adam Sessler. X-Play will debut April 28 at 11:30 pm and run Monday thru Thursday.

04/04/03 - the future is unwritten...
It's official. Morgan Webb is leaving the Screen Savers to be the new co-host of X-Play, the new incarnation of Extended Play. Of course we'll follow her wherever she goes (while maintaining the required 100 yards of distance required by the courts.) I'm sure she'll be great in her new role. Just don't let Adam Sessler read through his lines at 500 mph, ok Morgan.

About the site: I know I'm overdue for an update but I'm transitioning to a new set up and don't want to do the same work twice. Hopefully it'll be fairly seamless; no 'under construction' sign up for a month. Wish both Morgan and I luck in our new ventures. 		Polls are closed.


02/23/03 - If hair could talk, barbers would wear earplugs.
I'm back with another update. A good one this time. I managed to snag an interview with Morgan Webb herself. She took a break from her whirlwind publicity tour for morganwebb.com to do an email interview with us. I even got her to talk about the curious origins of her affinity for dyeing her hair.

The images section continues to swell uncontrollably. In addition to growing the existing directories, I've added an auburn section and moved the wallpapers in too. The current image count has grown to a mountainous 322! And that's not even counting the wallpapers.

To try and maintain a semblance of balance I've managed to grow the writings section. Last night I was going through my inbox deleting old items and I stumbled across no less than six forgotten notes from Morgan. How could I ever forget such forceful yet elegant prose? And why should I let such brilliance go to waste in the nether regions of my hard drive? So I put them up for you here.

I fixed php poll so that the percentages don't get mixed up. This is a lesson to everyone using php always initialize your variables. A universal namespace has it's pros and cons. Lou made some banners for Morgan'sHair.Net that won't cause seizures. I also added a link to Morgan & Cat's escapades at the Super Bowl in the video section. Poor Raiders :(

Polls are closed.


02/02/03 - Time keeps on slippin', slippin', slippin'...
As sands in the hourglass, so are the phases of Morgan's Hair. Lou was kind enough to send me a MHN wallpaper/calendar for February 2003. He is also helping me with some new graphics and such.

That is all.

01/31/03 - The more things change...
There was a definite change in Morgan's hair last night. Since this is the #1 site for information on her hair here's a few quick images for your consumption:

That's for right now folks. I'm hard at work committing the script to Real Genius to memory so don't expect another update for at least a few weeks. 		Polls are closed.


01/25/03 - PHPification complete
If I did it correctly it should be a mostly transparent change. Page layout is very similar to the html stuff but it's easier for me to change things with PHP. The only notable change is that there are now footers at the end of each page telling you when the last update was.

Unfortunately this has created one problem. All the .htm files were converted to .php so if you had any bookmarks beyond just www.morganshair.net they won't work anymore. I had to go in and change every single page so I may have made a mistake or two. If you find any please report it to thewastebin@morganshair.net. And yes that is a real address that I set up for administrative things like this.

And one last thing. GO RAIDERS!!!

Polls are closed.

01/19/03 - Ok, a real update this time.
If that worked, than you can now see that my call was successful. You can also see that I did submit to Morgan's whim, adding Leo as an option, just as I said I would. It's using the inventively titled "php_poll". Which of course uses php. Unfortunately it's given me ideas. Prepare to say goodbye to this dirt-simple web design and hello to php weirdness. Pray that my lethargy overpowers my ambition!

Update to the update: Ok that was wierd. The poll results seem to have reset themselves. They were up to nearly 500 votes and then back to 5. I think Leo hacked me becasue he was getting most of the votes for sidekick. I'll investigate later. The php process is continuing unabated. Expect culmination this weekend. -01/23/03

In addition to the poll, I also redesigned and expanded the video section. There's a pile of new images. Most of those came from her trip to CES and this thread at the Leoville Town Square. There's also a cartoon wallpaper of Morgan that unnerved me until I realized what was wrong with it. Aside from the out of date blonde hair the artist, Dan Hess, also gave her bright blue eyes. For the record she has beautiful brown eyes.

In other news related to Morgan's eyes she got glasses.

Polls are Closed

01/18/03 - Still alive
Ok, the Screen Savers effect wasn't too bad. 1.7 gigabytes of traffic, and over a thousand visitors. The 7pm (eastern) hour saw 219x the usual amount of bandwidth. I'll put the screen saver back up.

01/17/03 - Prepare for The Screen Savers Effect
in 5. 4. 3. 2. 1...

I took the 5mb Screen Saver down to head off bandwidth issues. It will return in a few days.

01/06/03 - Vegas baby, Vegas
Bright light city gonna set my soul
Gonna set my soul on fire
Got a whole lot of money that's ready to burn,
So get those stakes up higher
There's a thousand pretty women waitin' out there
And they're all livin' devil may care
And I'm just the devil with love to spare
Viva Las Vegas, Viva Las Vegas

Morgan and her sidekick, Cat, are headed to Vegas this week to cover CES for TechTV and mingle with the crowd. If you're in town be sure to check out their booth because even with a 'thousand pretty women' in Vegas, those two are sure to stand out.
The Call for Help-a-thon was a big success. You could see some bloopers here, but the site is down at the moment. There's also a few from TechTV's site. I recommend this clip, in which Chris loses it but our heroine saves the day.

12/23/02 - Hurray for Netcams
I added a bunch of new photos to the pictures section, mostly of the golden brown variety. Morgan has owned the TSS cubecam for the last month. However she's mostly turned the netcam to various parts of her cube, especially her fish. I took her hint and created a virtual tour of her cube. I made a no frames version for whoever it is that is accessing this site on Arpanet. Whoever that is, send me an email, spacemonkey@morganshair.net.
For full coverage of Morgan's cubecam fun see this thread on the Leoville Town Square. I also added custom error pages. See if you can make an error and see them.
It's the holiday season so enjoy whatever date on the calendar that makes you do something bizarre. Morgan, like any good Canadian, will be celebrating boxing day on the 26th of December. Her method of celebration will be to help Chris Pirillo do eighteen straight hours of live TV on the Call for Help-a-Thon. Be sure to watch, it should be fun.

11/30/02 - My very first update
Yeehaw! It's the first real update. I added some extra pictures in the Golden Brown and the With Others sections. I also made some additions to the Who/Bio section (a Kabalarian analysis of Morgan and Raiders fan bullet.) I threw in a few assorted corrections too :)

11/25/02 - The Launch
It's alive!!! I put stuff all over the place. It is good. Morgan is good. Morgan is gooder than this site. Morgan uses correct gramma'. I use the wrong words 'cause it be funny. Ha Ha.
I'd like to make a statement regarding the factual accuracy of this site. Every single word is the absolute truth. I'd never attempt to use a tool so imprecise as sarcasm to make a joke. By the way did you know that George 'Dubya' Bush is a member of Mensa?



This page last updated 04/04/03. All content is within the public domain (I hope)